. Most of us don’t realize that we are taking our lives for granted until we are faced with a major medical issue or we suffer the deep and tragic loss of a loved one. The major medical issues maybe the result or the reason for the loss of the loved one. Such a situation can rip you wide open to your Core. It can cause a pain so intense that it either cancels you or give you a new platform from which to operate your life. Whether voluntary or involuntary, the loss of a child is an excruciating experience. Nothing is felt more intensely by a woman than the loss of her child. She will feel it far more intensely than her partner will. Unfortunately, this maybe one of the reasons why women, who has experienced this traumatic ordeal, do not receive the strong support that they need. Putting your life back together after a traumatic experience can be very difficult but it is not impossible.
The road to recovery maybe different for each woman and each woman reacts differently depending on how she is dealing with it. It is imperative that friends and family or even worse her partner to be sensitive during her difficult time. They should be careful to not downplay her emotions and her reactions. Telling her that she is being affected worse than other women conveys the message that she is over-reacting. Re-building your self-confidence after any life-changing event, whether it was a death in the family, an abusive relationship that finally ended, suffering from a miscarriage or other difficult health issues, takes some time and patience on your part. It is understandable if you are feeling down, but resist the urge to beat upon yourself. Remember that you did the best you could during whatever situation that had taken place. Now is the time to apply the lessons learned and to acknowledge the purpose of that event. It is a daunting and sometimes overwhelming task, but not an impossible one. Time does not necessarily heal wounds, however, patience and self-love does. One way to help in easing your mind as you heal your life is to keep in mind the
Getting the little things done may suddenly seem overwhelming. Things you have done with such mental ease now seem to be the most mountainous task to tackle.
Have genuine friends around you who are supportive and understanding.
Have a crazy friend who can make you laugh at the drop of a hat (This person may not necessarily be the same as the supportive friend, but they can also be one and the same).
Create some alone time for yourself. This may be the last thing you may feel you want, but taking some alone time to go away for a few days will help to refresh and rejuvenate your soul and you will return better able to face and handle the situation. However, be careful about taking too much time alone where you are not seeking to relax your soul. This is not the time for heavy drinking, too much sex and taking things to the extreme just to numb the pain. Remember, you are working on healing yourself not damaging yourself further.
Write out your thoughts in a Journal. You don’t have to write in it everyday, but it would be good to. There are days when you will write one page and there are days when you will write dozens of pages.
It is normal to want to have a child right away to make up for the one you have lost, but that is the pain mixed with the mother in you talking. It is wise to not make any major decisions while you are still in pain. A child conceived in pain will prove very traumatic for the child throughout his or her life not to mention the interaction between parent and child.
Your healing process will take time. You won’t get up one day feeling completely healed. You will begin to feel a little better each day until the pain is a dull ache. Word of caution, the pain will always be there, because it is the loss of a child. However, there will come a time when the pain won’t control your life. You can and will be able to live a full life after the loss of a loved one. Know you are loved by your child or other loved one whom you have lost. The love you have for your child or other loved one will become an immense comfort to you.
Suffering the deep and tragic loss of a loved one thru a miscarriage, a parent dying, other close family member or the loss of a friend, can be deeply heartbreaking. It can rip you open to the very Core. The pain one suffers from such a loss should never be taken for granted by anyone. It is important to go thru the healing process. You may not know how long it will take, but only you can know when you have healed.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next. AMEN!