Warning – Here Comes Greenland


Breaking News: Greenland is turning green. Should you care? Only if, like most people, you live close to sea level. If you do, you should definitely care, because it means you’ll have to move.

Greenland’s enormous ice cap is melting at a much faster rate than previously indicated. At 8,000 feet thick and covering some 700,000 square miles, it contains the world’s second largest source of fresh water. It overflows into thousands of glaciers and melts ever more rapidly into the sea.

I know, we’ve heard the warnings before. Global warming. Cut back on everything. Conserve. Get a hybrid car. Al Gore might get a Nobel Prize! If the mythological terrorists don’t get you, global warming will. Your job is to be afraid. Very afraid.

The danger, however, when it comes to Greenland, appears to be quite real. Most of the world’s scientists now agree that the entire ice cap will melt. Not in five hundred years, but within just five short years. In that brief period of time, thanks to Greenland’s accelerated activity, the oceans are expected to rise about 23 feet.

That’s high enough to submerge every east coast city from Boston to Miami. Whole countries would disappear and, in fact, much of the world would be under water.

Florida? Forget it. Miami? Gone. Most of Florida, in fact, will be a memory. Not just a foreign country anymore, but an underwater foreign country. New Orleans? Katrina was just a practice run. You’re now the new Atlantis. Want some ocean front property at the Jersey Shore? I’d start looking right about now. In Pennsylvania.

You know how scientists are, though. Some say this. Some say that. You don’t know what to believe. In this case, however, I have a tendency to believe the worst, and for a very simple reason: It’s happened before.

The melting, retreating glaciers in Greenland are exposing land that hasn’t been seen in centuries – even millions of years. Grasses. Flowers. Ancient Viking remains not seen since the 1400’s. Ice-covered Greenland was once covered with forests. Ancient DNA has been recovered from the bottom of ice cores showing the presence of pine trees.

Yes, you can blame global warming, that wonderful catch-all that can be blamed for just about everything. But wait! It’s global warming that has happened before. Naturally! What kinds of cars did those ancient Vikings drive anyway? How much carbon dioxide did they emit? What kind of combustible fuel did they use to heat their huts? Maybe Al Gore knows.

The planet has endured any number of dramatic climate changes long before humans thought they had any effect. You could give every person in the world a hybrid car and it wouldn’t make a difference. Everybody could walk to work and heat their homes with sticks of wood. Wouldn’t make a difference.

Man, in all his hubristic humility, thinks he can effect the climate. But he can’t. We have absolutely no control over the planet’s magnetic field. No control over tornadoes or hurricanes or volcanoes or Sun spots.

Or do we? What about those nasty chemtrails crisscrossing every inch of our skies – and the skies of every country in the world? Isn’t that an attempt to control the weather? No, that’s probably just a sign of out-of-control governments trying to poison their people. Or not. Nobody knows. Maybe our elected so-called “representatives” know. Good luck in trying to get a logical answer. Or any answer at all.

Mankind can do nothing about climate change. When the earth decides to enter an ice age, or a warming period, or even flip its axis, get a grip and accept it. Actually, you have no choice.

You do, however, have a choice to make five years from now. You can save yourself and your family and head for high ground. Or, you can just tune out. I’m sure Fox News will still be running stories about missing cheerleaders and drunken starlets. That should keep you amused. At least until the water gets knee deep in your living room. When that happens, don’t bother looking up the number for FEMA. They’re still trying to get help to the victims of Katrina.

Good luck!

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